Question:
For a Passover Sedar, what is the ettiquette with the wine? This is my first Passover.?
anonymous
17 years ago
I'm going to the one hosted by my synagogue.
I'm only fifteen, so I'm not even sure if they will serve me the wine.
Do you think they will?
How much am I supposed to drink?

I really don't want to get drunk and look like a fool.

Also, will there be any dancing?
Seven answers:
?
17 years ago
Well, the laws of the seder stipulate that four cups are to be drunk as part of the seder itself. So, you're supposed to drink four cups. A couple of points to keep in mind:



1) When drinking the four cups, it is not necessary to drain the cup each time - however, one is supposed to drink "rov kos," that is, the majority of the cup.



2) Grape juice MIGHT be acceptable in lieu of wine.



3) A lot of wines that are made for Jewish ceremonial use are of much lower alcohol content than normal wine. If the bottle says something like "6% alcohol," then one glass of that stuff is the equivalent of like, half a cup of regular wine.



The second point is the subject of debate among poskim (Jewish legal authorities). That being the case, you should consult your LOR (Local Orthodox Rabbi). Some might tell you that it is preferable to use grape juice, particularly if you don't like the taste of wine.



For sure there is no reason for you to get drunk at the seder, and it wouldn't be appropriate (Purim is when you want to get good and shikkur). I'm not qualified to tell you what you can or can't do from the perspective of Jewish Law, so consult with your rabbi about any or all of the following:



1) The permissability of using juice instead of wine.

2) ...or diluting wine with juice

3) How much of the cup you actually need to drink.

4) How big the cup has to be. (A shot glass is too small, but you don't need to pour a huge cup or anything.)



Of course, this is if they serve you wine in the first place.



I hope you find this information helpful.



There may or may not be dancing at your seder... the last time I went to one where there was dancing, it was at the very end, probably to celebrate that we'd survived the whole thing as much as to celebrate the holiday itself. ;)



PS: Just a minor correction to one of the other answers - a girl becomes a bas mitzvah (an adult for the purposes of Jewish Law) at age 12. A boy becomes a bar mitzvah at age 13. From what I can tell, it's generally understood that girls mature faster than boys.
anonymous
17 years ago
They might serve you wine because your over the age of a bat mitzvah, which is 13 years old. But it depends on the synagogue too. Just follow how much other people drink. And don't worry you will not get drunk. I have been doing Passover Seders all my life. I am Jewish. Here is a site that I think you might want to take a look at to know what food or thing people are talking about. Have fun!!
holmes.john14
17 years ago
I presume that your synagogue is not Orthodox, and consequently no one will be concerned with the 4 cup tradition observed by Orthodox Judaism. It is advisable to drink wine on a full stomach. A good reason for attending a communal Seder is to be with others, but you will also have the opportunity to learn...so, make the most of it!
bluiemonster
17 years ago
There are traditionally 4 cups of wine/grape juice to be drunk during the meal. one cup for each of the 4 expressions of freedom mentioned in the bible. it is preferable to drink red wine but it can be 5%. most families serve teens wine at the seder. there is no need to drink wine during the actual meal only at the 4 designed times. In 99% of orthodox and otherwise jewish families there IS NO DANCING AT THE SEDER ONLY SINGING. the only time that acc. to jewish customs you r supposed 2 get drunk is purim. not passover
ysk
17 years ago
If they do, you are supposed to drink the majority (51%+) of the cup, within a minute or 2. They're usually pretty small cups, and it's 4 over 4-8 hours, so you should be fine. There's no dancing.
Moshiach Now!!!
17 years ago
i don't see why they wouldn't. i'm only 13 and i drink wine every shabbos. there won't be any dancing. maybe you're thinking of simchas torah.
bruschi_fiftyfour
17 years ago
i doubt they'll serve you wine, probably grape juice


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